The Best Personal Finance Jokes and Money Puns

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I thought I should share some of the best personal finance jokes and money puns to get your week rolling in these tough economic times. 

One-Liners Jokes

  • I saw a bank that said if offered 24 Hour Banking.” But I didn’t go in. I didn’t have that much time. 
  • A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.
  • The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

(Source: Progress to Financial Freedom)

Money Marriage

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”

Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

(Source: Readers Digest)

Millionaire Joke

A woman proudly told her friend, “I’m responsible for making my husband a millionaire.” “Well what was he before he married you?” the friend asked. “A billionaire.”

(Source: Progress to Financial Freedom)

Richest People

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.

(Source: Readers Digest)

God’s Time And Money

A preacher went into his church and he was praying to God. While he was praying, he asked God, “How long is 10 million years to you?” God replied, “1 second.” The next day the preacher asked God, “God, how much is 10 million dollars to you?” And God replied, “A penny.” Then finally the next day the preacher asked God, “God, can I have one of your pennies?” And God replied, “Just wait a sec.”

(Source: Financial Jokes)

Outstanding Balance

I’m normally not one to brag about my financial skills but my credit card company calls me almost every day to inform me my balance is outstanding!

(Source: Financial Jokes)

Never Lend Money to a Friend

Never lend money to a friend. It’s dangerous. It could damage his memory.

(Source: Readers Digest)

Ancient Egypt

Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt?

Pyramid schemes.

(Source: Financial Jokes)

For-Profit

Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put your two cents in? Somebody’s making a penny.

—Steven Wright, Comedian

Frugality Now

A millionaire, a hard hat, and a drunk are at a bar. When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug. The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then proceeds to sip it. The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest. It’s now the drunk’s turn. He sticks his hand into the beer, grabs the fly by the wings, and shouts, “Spit it out! Spit it out!”

(Source: Readers Digest)

 

Go Forth and Conquer!


Image Credits: Top by Pixabay via Pexels

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Irene Makanga
Irene has an MBA in Finance and is an avid businesswoman, passionate about financial literacy.

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