A lot of people don’t view marriage as a financial partnership but rather a societal verification of their romantic feelings, so they see no need to talk about finances. Being financially compatible is as important as being a good match sexually, having similar ideas about raising kids, where to live etc. It is not something you can ignore and hope for the best. This is the stuff that makes or breaks relationships.
Some of the most common reasons cited for divorce are finance related. Being financially compatible with your partner is so important, even more than sex. If you do not see eye to eye on money, it’s a huge red flag indicative of a potentially big problem down the road that can shutter a marriage.
I have over the years gathered a lot of knowledge about finance and relationships from the countless interviews I have had with couples who have been married for years and the countless books about finance I have read. From all this I can summarize seven pieces advice for newly married couples:
#1 Never hide spending from each other, not matter how small
Hiding expenses from your spouse does not only damage your financial plans but also damages the trust that you share as a family team member. In many relationships friction sometimes happens when there is disagreement about daily spending and that can be tough to solve if you don’t have shared goals.
#2 Talk about your shared goals and take stock as often as possible
A marriage is a partnership and as such, sharing your goals often helps solidify not only the relationship but also eliminates any misunderstandings. Both people need to come around to “we’re a team” and really understand each other.
#3 Plan for retirement together but save for retirement separately
This will help you take advantage to great retirement plans (if one of you has a better plan than the other and it’s also important to spread your financial assets as well). Additionally, in the event of divorce (God forbid) you will both have a retirement plan.
#4 Marriage is about supporting each other
There will come a time whereby you might have to support your partner. It’s going to happen so don’t be frustrated by it. Instead, embrace the situation, plan for it and be glad that you can be there for your partner when certain changes happen.
#5 Start and emergency fund
Strenuous situations can cause strain on a any marriage. If it can be avoided, then you should. Starting an emergency fund can go a long way to ease difficult times during family emergencies or job loss – whatever comes along unexpectedly and demands money.
#6 Forgive each other, always
Disagreements will happen and you will come to discover things about your spouse after living together for years and they will really piss you off. However, remember to forgive those flaws and find a way to focus on the positive and you will be better off.
#7 Spend time together
Nourish your marriage by spending time together. It will keep your marriage stronger and strong marriages rarely wind up in divorce. This will most probably be the greatest financial move you can make together. It will save you a lot of money as the reality is divorce is expensive.
Final Thoughts
Marriage is a wonderful thing. You can take this advice and all other advice your parents and elders will give and you will find that your financial problems in your marriage will become much easier to handle. As I have discovered that a relationship will not survive if one partner is a saver and the other is a spender. It will endlessly lead to fighting and resentment.
A friend of mine joked, that when it comes to marriage sex is fleeting but cash is forever, perhaps you can tell me how true that is.
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